Carton's Adventure for the Victory Royale
Carton’s adventure for the victory royale
By Andrew Oswald & Emiliano Barajas
On the Podasky Farm in Northern Vermont an egg lives. This egg is named Carton. He lives with all of the other eggs in the farm. Carton loves a Youtuber named Ali-A who makes Fortnite update videos. Carton enjoys his content a lot, and he watches Ali-A while playing Subway Surfers everyday when he comes home from school. But Carton’s attention span is so low, that he also needs to watch Tik Tok on the side to not get bored. His attention span hit a record low of 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds.
One pleasant morning, Carton's mother (she is a chicken) came into his room to tell him to get ready for school, as she did regularly. Carton’s room was quite unusual. Everynight he slept in a cardboard bed. His walls were covered with posters for his favorite egg cracking team, The Jolly Joyuse Jubilees. His egg sized computer was always laying on his desk, ready to be used.
Respecting his mom’s wishes, Carton heads to school (it's next to the pigs’ pen). The walk to school was pretty long, so Carton always took the egg bus (the farmer’s child’s toy car). It was pushed by the main rooster of the farm over lumps of hay.
Carton was indifferent about school. He enjoyed the hay-working class where they would make structures out of hay, though he really disliked cow-cleaning class, for obvious reasons.
At recess, Carton’s friends Scrambled, Fried, and Raw invited him to play Fortnite. They let him know that they would be hosting a call at 8 pm, and that he should definitely join. Carton was excited, since he usually only got to play Fortnite alone. His mom wouldn’t allow him to play that much.
Carton rushed through dinner, swallowing down his dinner of broccoli-asparagus sandwich with boiled hay on the side. Quickly, Carton hopped on his egg sized computer, and his friends greeted him. The match began. Carton always told his friends that he was really good at the game. But quickly it became apparent that he wasn’t as good as he bragged about. He got 97th place out of 100, and his friends were surprised that he was so awful at the game.
The next day at school, Carton’s friends began teasing him for his skills.
“Bro, I thought you said you were cracked. You were literally so bad at the game. You got 97th place. You were in the five worst!” Scrambled said, laughing.
“I wasn’t playing as good as normal, I promise I’m better!” Carton argued.
But when Raw responded with, “Sure, little bro,” Carton knew that his friends didn’t believe him.
Carton wanted to impress his friends with his skills,but he couldn’t think of any way to get better. Later that day, as he lay in his soft bed, he watched Ali-A, trying to think of a plan to get better at Fortnite. He didn’t think practicing more would work, since he practiced already for the last six months. He needed to find a gimmicky way to beat his friends.
As he continued to watch Ali-A’s Youtube video somewhat absent mindedly, his eye caught something unusual. The camera slightly moved, putting something into the frame. As Carton paused to look at it, he noticed that there was a controller that said “Fortnite Skill Controller”, and it was on right when Ali-A got the victory. “Huh, wait” Carton thinks. He realizes that this is the perfect way to impress his friends. He couldn’t wait to show his friends the clip the next day.
He heads to school to tell his friends about this. Unfortunately, none of his friends saw anything. Thinking that this was an interesting idea, Fried posted a conspiracy Tik Tok explaining that his friend, Carton, theorized that Ali-A used a controller for his power.
Meanwhile, in the city of Liverpool, UK a popular content thief, sorry, I mean reaction Youtuber, SSSniperwolf, sees the video. She quickly realizes that Youtube’s greatest secret had been discovered. The truth is… every popular content creator has a remote that allows them to be good at what they do (SSSniperwolf’s remote makes it so that when eight year olds see her videos they immediately click on it). Although she almost forgets about it because she’s too busy doxxing Jacksfilms.
Carton’s time was now. He decided to sneak onto a plane and get to London. Arriving at the airport, he spots a passenger’s leg to grab onto, planning to get onto Flight 73493 on United from John. F Kennedy International Airport to Heathrow International Airport in London. But before he can do anything, he sees two Youtubers heading towards him and they shout, “SSSniperwolf sent us to stop you!” He recognizes that they are Cocomelon and Ninja Kids. Cocomelon has the power to entertain babies with mindless content, while Ninja Kids… just do stuff, I don’t know, I guess their power is that seven year olds are addicted to their iPads. The Cocomelon baby which towered ten feet tall with a smell that lasted for miles of a soiled diaper. yelled, “Get em!”
“You will never catch me!” screamed Carton, while Ninja Kids charged forward, preparing to attack Carton. He defended himself by throwing a suitcase at Cocomelon, hitting him in the head and knocking him down. Ninja Kids attacked him. Quickly, Carton pulled out his phone and opened TikTok. The Ninja Kids immediately became docile, going into a mindless state. Carton quickly puts his phone back in his pocket and runs onto the plane and is off to London.
The turbulence almost made Carton crack his shell, but he safely got off the plane, proceeding to walk and Google Ali-A’s house.
Once he arrived at Ali-A's house, he climbed up a street pole and then jumped onto the window. Carton opened the window, and inside the room was the man himself, the legendary Ali-A! He was sitting at his desk, playing video games. Carton had to think of a plan to steal his remote.
On top of the desk, Carton saw a dog and cat toy. Then, he had a “brilliant” idea. He planned to throw the dog and cat toy out of the window to distract Ali-A. While Ali was going to get some food, Carton threw the dog and cat toy out of the window and hid under the desk. When Ali-a came back, he noticed that his pets toys were out the window. Ali-A thought it was a bit sussy because he remembered he had them on his desk to play with later. He then disappeared downstairs and outside to get the toys.
This was Carton;s moment to succeed! As he climbed up Ali-A’s desk, he heard a sound. A “ARR” then “GRR” and then “RAWR” came from the door outside the room. Uh-oh! It was Ali-A's two dogs and cat who noticed Carton being a little sneak. That was no good! Carton was scared, he did not think far ahead.
Carton rushed and climbed up Ali-A’s desk as fast as he could as the cat tried to pounce on him. Meanwhile, one of Ali-A’s dogs tried to scrap him, and the other one tried to make him fall by shaking the desk. Carton got scratched by Ali-A’s cat getting a tad bit hurt, but proceeded to run for the remote. Ali-A’s pets couldn’t reach him anymore, so Carton ran off with the remote and grabbed a tissue that Ali-A had lying around on his desk. He danced on Ali-A’s pets which were honestly haters, showing his dominance.
After dancing, he then jumped out the window and used he tissue as a parachute feeling like a true sigma alpha fortnite player knowing that he succeeded. Carton landed on the grass and ran off with the remote.
***
Ali-A came back from getting his pets’ toys and saw that his remote was gone. “Oh no!” Ali-A thought. That remote had lots of power stored into it. He tried to look for it everywhere, but he could find it until his pets pointed out the window. He then went to close the window until he saw small footprints of Dorito powder from the chips he ate earlier. He had to get it back somehow until the power of the remote was unleashed or he wouldn’t be the best fortnite content creator in existence, leading to losing all his fame and losing all of his skills.
He called his fellow friend SSSniperwolf and asked her if she could help stop the person who stole his remote. SSSniperwolf then yapped about how she actually knew who was trying to steal his controller and gave him a description of what Carton looked like. Ali-A was pretty surprised when he heard that an egg stole it. “Pretty impressive for an egg, But how will he do it,” he thought to himself.
As Carton raced through the London streets, trying to escape, he saw Ali-A get in his car. Carton ducks in an alley to hide as Ali-A passes. But SSSniperwolf and her henchmen arrived just in time as Carton tried to sneak onto a flight back home.
Then Ryan’s Toys Reviews saw Carton. Ryan’s Toys Reviews, a popular 9 year old child entertainer whose power was to make little kids beg their parents to get new toys, ran at him, throwing toy trucks at Carton like ninja throwing stars.
Carton used his agility to dodge them. One missed him by an inch. Carton then quickly runs up, untying Ryan’s shoes, causing him to trip and fall. He defeated Ryan, just as two new enemies appeared, CG5 and Ssundee. CG5 has the power to instantly kill a meme by posting a song about that meme. Ssundee has the power to make the most insane thumbnails. CG5 started to sing his Blue Smurf cat song, which is so cringey it actually makes you physically curl into a ball forcefully.
But Carton resisted and pulled himself out the ball using his strength to take down CG5. He used a stool to hit him in the face. CG5 proceeded to run away. Ssnundee tried to kick Carton, but he dodged it and ran up Ssnundee’s arm, punching him in the face and knocking him out. He was almost at his gate, when he ran into Ali-A and SSSniperwolf. Ali-A ran up, knocking Carton off his feat. Ali-A prepared to stomp on Carton, but Carton got up and sprinted away. SSSniperwolf dashed at him and used a net to try and pick him up, but Carton dodged. Ali-A blocked his way and steps! Carton was obliterated into a million pieces, the remote was secured and everything was normal again.
“Rest In Peace Carton” on his tomb they wrote. “Died trying to get that number one victory royale.”
