When I started loving math and science again

Anisha Verma
"She's behind in math ." I can still hear my mother utter those words in complete disbelief.  

Before that point, my childhood consisted of baking cakes, obsessing over my favorite TV shows, and singing my heart out. I couldn't comprehend anything more than eating ice cream and achieving all my dreams at the press of a button.

Regarding Academics, I was always a pretty good student; concepts typically came easily to me- providing me with no incentive to practice or develop any sort of work ethic.

 I personally believed I was doing well, but in actuality, thinking I could achieve my goals while solely relying on intelligence rather than hard work was obviously erroneous, and that would soon come to light. As I maintained belief in this aberrant ideology, my academic performance began to decline steadily. 

Every day I felt as if everything academically was getting worse, and every day I felt further, that there was no plausible way of drastic improvement. Yet, I still couldn't acknowledge what I was feeling.

Until May of my 5th-grade year, when I heard those five words which altered my life to this day, "Anisha, your behind in math ."That sentence was the key to a floodgate of repressed emotions, degraded self-confidence, and value I accumulated from the past years. For four years, I was standing on a great precipice, and I finally jumped. 

At this moment, I knew something had to be done. So I started to study, and as straightforward as it might sound, it seemed like the only confirmed method to expedite my growth. I set a goal to do  well on the fifth-grade end of year math evaluation, and I worked hard for it. I dedicated a couple of weekends to review all the material, complete practice tests, and I overall felt pretty good about it. 

I went in to take the test, feeling confident. The day results were posted; I was absolutely ecstatic until I realized that I failed, tremendously.

 At that moment, I honestly didn't know what to feel. My whole life, I've been told I had tremendous potential, and it was my lousy work ethic holding me back.  Looking back, it's evident that a couple of weekends of studying wouldn't make up for years of procrastination and neglect. But I'm glad this occurred; since I know I've overcome tough things in the past, I know I can do it again in the future.

I'm going to be completely honest, I was disappointed, but that's only human nature. I couldn't let this mere failure hold me back! I decided to spend all summer catching up on all the work I missed in previous years. 

  Starting from the beginning wasn't easy; it left my ego in total shambles, but after I got past that, I found math quite enjoyable. Time flew, it was already the first day of sixth grade, and I was nervous, to say the least. Avoiding disappointment, I didn't hold high expectations of myself but still wanted to do well. 

It was my first math class, and we were learning about decimal division, which was ironically what I was self-studying the previous week. 

Even though It might seem insignificant, I can't tell you how marvelous it felt to actually understand what was going on and even explain it to my peers for the first time in years. Seeing your hard work pay off is a feeling like no other.

 I was absolutely determined never to feel the way I did in previous years and was ready to work as hard as was necessary. A couple of weeks later, I got my second confirmation that I was doing well when the principal sent my mother an email stating how impressed my teachers were with the progress I made, specifically in math.

Then a couple of months later, when I inquired about parent-teacher conferences, my mother replied with, "She asked how you made such a big jump in so little time."

As sixth grade progressed, I started to develop intrinsic motivation regarding math. I started viewing it as something fun to do rather than a chore. During this time was also when I began to develop a deep interest in neuroscience. 

Before I knew it, it was already seventh grade; this was also a significant turning point in my life. I enjoyed advancing to the next level, but this was also when I felt like I needed a challenge outside of class. I decided to take Algebra One, and by the end of the year, I was using AP Calculus in my school assignments. Now, I'm already in eighth grade, and I can't wait to start high school!