My Trip to Hong Kong
By: Esha Mittal
My Trip to Hong Kong
Have you ever had a panic attack? The feeling like no matter how much you try to breathe in, you can’t get enough air. When your vision clouds up and you can’t think straight. When you feel the nausea running through you like you just got off a rollercoaster, making you lose your appetite for days.That’s what it felt like every time I traveled with my anxiety. Except for Hong Kong.
I stare out the frosty window in awe, the city lights twinkling below me. As clouds engulfed our aircraft, we start to descend into the busy city of Hong Kong. I took a deep breath in, enjoying my last moment of calm before the airport rush. I bite my lip, anxiously waiting for our luggage to come. “Are you ready for this?” I think to myself as we got into a taxi. I drift off to the sounds of the city around us. I’m surrounded by bright lights as I groggily walk into our hotel room, immediately falling asleep in the comforting bedsheets, forgetting about my anxiety.
Sun streams in through the wide windows, welcoming me to my first day in a new place. Anxiety clouds my brain as we walk down the steps to the lobby, and suddenly breakfast doesn’t sound good anymore. It’s okay, just breathe. I think to myself. The cold hashbrowns slowly disappear off my plate, and I can finally take a deep breath.
“Esha, let’s go,” my mom shouts through the door. “We’re getting late!” I toss on a tank top and shorts, ready to brave the hot and humid weather of Hong Kong. When we go outside, I’m encapsulated by the tall structures and crowded streets. The day feels like it’ll never end. As we took the train down to my cousin’s house, I prepare myself for another meal away from home. I stare out the window, watching the sun go down on my first day in Hong Kong. The train squeals to a stop and we begin the walk to their apartament. The elevator slowly rises, opening to a cream hallway with identical doors surrounding all sides. The doorbell sounds and I step inside, the smell of Mexican food floats through the air.
“Come in, Come in!” my cousin, Kieran, says from the doorway. I enter their home, surrounded by new things.
As we sit down to eat dinner, my aunt says, “Esha, do you want to sign up for a marine biology camp?”
I pause, unsure of the new idea of taking a risk. “Sure,” I say. I think to myself, I can handle it. On the Uber ride home, I start to spiral, considering everything that could go wrong. I count down the days until camp, anticipating disaster. Until it finally happens.
My dad holds my bag on the bus ride to the school, discussing the schedule for the week, but I’m too nervous to hear anything around me. The bus squeals as it comes to a stop. The doors open slowly as I get off. The gust of air conditioning welcomes me into the bright school. I spot my cousin Kieran, calming my nerves. The bus ride to the dock is quiet. We walk down to a dock, the salty air all around us. As I put on my life jacket, I see the waves crash into the large sailboat, gently rocking it. The cold ocean water sloshes around my feet as I’m pulled aboard. The boat creaks under me, drifting away from shore and leaving my anxiety behind.
We are sailing smoothly. Our boat, Black Dolphin, glided through the choppy waves. I spent the rest of the afternoon in the warm sand, snorkeling in the sea… that is, Until the alarm blared. The winds started picking up and it wasn’t safe outside anymore. A typhoon was coming, and I wasn’t ready. The boat ride back was tense. We didn’t know what was going on. Waves that were once smooth became choppy and tall. Our boat rocked, sending a new wave of fear every time. As an anxious person at this moment, it was a very formative experience. I was terrified, and there was nothing I could do.
We make it back to the camp, taking shelter in a classroom until it was safe for our parents to get us. My family gathers at Kieran’s house. I can feel the tremors from the street below us and the wind pushing the trees just outside. I stare out the window, watching the scene and wanting to go home. Slowly, the winds stop and the world slows down again. The sky returns to blue and my heart rate slows.
The next couple of weeks go by in a blur. finally feel comfortable where I am and I never worry. I open my eyes to the bright skies and busy streets. I checked my phone, August 16, 2019. The moment I had been both looking forward to and dreading had finally arrived. I trudge into the kitchen in my usual tank top and shorts, until I realized that I’m no longer going to be in the warmth of the big city. I’d be back in San Francisco before I knew it.
The taxi ride was quiet. We had said our goodbyes and we were ready to go home. I boarded the familiar plane, taking in my last moments before I was in a whole other place. I look out the window, staring at the same image of the twinkling city I saw when I came here. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath as the plane surges forward, taking me home.
Hong Kong gave me so many new and unique experiences in learning how to handle my anxiety, such as teaching me that I could enjoy traveling without being stressed and I was able to fully enjoy my time there. Overall, Hong Kong taught me that I can take risks and that I can control my anxiety.
