Split into Two Places
By: Millo Skhiri
“We’re getting a divorce,” my mom said, her face blank. I looked to my left and stared at my sister, not knowing what to think or feel. I told myself I wanted my parents to get a divorce, but I was still sad. I looked at my mom and back at my sister, who was sobbing. My sister runs up to her room. She runs so quickly and lightly up the stairs you couldn't hear her run. I could tell this was going to be very hard on my sister. I knew I would go talk with her in a little bit, knowing that space was the best thing for her then. I stayed downstairs knowing this was also very tough for my mom to come to this decision. I realized my mom tried the hardest she could to keep her marriage together. I quickly ran to her and hugged her with the most feeling I could give at that moment. I felt a tear forming in my eye. It slowly made its way down my face. It felt cold, but all I cared about at that moment was my mom and how she felt.
I went upstairs to my room, feeling that the best thing was time for myself, and I just stood there in shock, not knowing what to do. At this time my face had a coat of tears. I jumped onto my bed and laid there. I took my iPad and started watching Liv and Maddie. I sat there knowing I needed to get my mind off what happened. The minutes went by, then it became time to go to bed. My stomach made a noise, so I went downstairs and grabbed some snacks. I looked and saw my dad on the couch, but I didn't say anything and went upstairs. I dumped the snacks on my bed and changed into my pajamas. I ate my snacks, then snuggled into bed and fell asleep.
I woke up the next day well-rested. I thought of the day as a normal day until I remembered: My parents are now divorced. I didn't have the urge to get out of bed until my stomach rumbled. My priority was pretty straight at that age, just to eat till I’m happy. I ran downstairs and grabbed the cereal box and the milk from the fridge. I never knew if I needed to put the cereal in then pour the milk or pour the milk and then dump the cereal in. I did it the way that seemed like the right way, so I dumped the cereal then I put the milk in the bowl. I sat down on the second seat on the kitchen island and ate my cereal.
It was a Saturday morning so I knew once I finished the cereal, I could go upstairs and watch a show on my iPad. I went upstairs and grabbed my iPad from my desk where it was charging and I hopped in bed. I opened Netflix and started watching. The time quickly passed and before I knew it, it was 10:30. At that time, my whole family was usually awake. My mom knocked on my door and said good morning. She said she was there to talk with me if I needed it.
I didn't know when I would be ready to talk, so I sat there, still watching my show. I kept blocking out the fact that my parents were still getting a divorce. The time was passing fast, and I was getting thirsty, so I decided to go downstairs. While I was walking downstairs, I realized something: As much as I reminded myself my parents were getting a divorce, it still hadn't sunken in. I was blind to all the clues of them getting a divorce. My dad started sleeping in the guest room, and my parents wouldn’t kiss anymore.
I got downstairs and headed to the kitchen, my mom was sitting at the counter. She sat there with a cup of tea in her hands and was on her
“Hi Mama,” I said with a soft tone.
“Hi, how did you sleep?” my mom asked with a smile.
“Pretty good, it was a little warm last night.”
“Yes, it was warm, maybe we should switch to your lighter bed sheets.”
“Yeah, that will probably help.”
“When you want to talk we can talk,” Mom said. I stood there awkwardly and decided to go upstairs without getting water from the fridge. Mom never let me take anything from the fridge upstairs, but I ignored that and still went upstairs. I kept remembering what my mom said about talking about the divorce. Whatever I did to forget what she said, the thought kept popping back in my head. After a while, I decided I should just go downstairs and get the talk about the divorce over with.
As I walked downstairs I kept wishing my Mom wasn't downstairs so I don't have to talk with her. Whenever my Mom says something like, “Whenever you are ready,” it’s as if she casts a spell, and you always end up talking to her. I got downstairs and went into the living room, and my mom sat there.
“Hi Mama,” I said with a soft tone.
“Hi!” She said excited to see me. I made my way and sat down with her on the couch. My mom looks at me and gives me a smile. At that moment I felt very loved and understood. She told me how this stuff happens sometimes and it’s natural. She told me that my sister and I had nothing to do with the separation, and the divorce would not make her love us less, and everything would stay the same. Of course not really. It felt like my whole life changed. I was so used to the same thing everyday. I felt overwhelmed and at the same time at peace with the situation. It was like two emotions fighting over which one I should show.
A few weeks passed until my mom said something surprising: “Do you want to get a dog?” My dad had moved out of our house and we went to his place on the weekends. It felt empty at both houses with one person missing. Maybe it would be a good change to get a dog. To take our minds off the empty spot that sat there in the house. Making us remember there being a fourth person in the house.
Fast forward a couple of months, and I had come to peace with my parents’ divorce. We got a dog named Ollie, and he is adorable. He was 2 months old and so full of energy. It’s like he had ten cups of coffee and many energy shots. His whole body was covered with the fluffiest white fur. He would run around, and his tail would whip around so much. I still had to get used to going to Dad’s and Moms. I didn't have clothes at my Dad's yet because he just got the place. I always had to pack a suitcase going house to house, but I was happy.
After a year I came to peace with the divorce. I knew that both my parents were happy with the decision that was made. I didn't have any doubts about the divorce being blamed on me. Ollie had grown up and became this 45-pound dog. His fur was so big you could bury your face into his fur and get lost. We had our first Christmas separated and it was nice. Christmas eve was with my dad and Christmas with my mom. I thought I would get two of everything but it was just the same, just split into two places.
